Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
