pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
