I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
