sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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