nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
