I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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