So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have aggressive nipples.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
