we have officially lost it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
