my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize