Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
