haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
