you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
