her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
