He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think I sprained my soul last night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Drunk is not a location!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
