do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
