He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
there was a trapeze. enough said
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
