to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My penis needs a shock collar
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
