When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
