I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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