why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
