Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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