dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
