Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
