what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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