I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
