lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize