I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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