Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
