The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
