If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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