is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
