the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
