is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
