I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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