His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
