I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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