I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
