Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I will pee on everything he values.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
