Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
