you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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