Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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