you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
