Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
