Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
