I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
