So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
A+ Viking dick
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
