Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
