Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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