how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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