I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
