He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
