Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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