Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize