YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
