a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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