I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
