never play flip cup with pint glasses
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
