I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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