i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
