You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
