I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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