I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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