i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
