Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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